Big Changes!!

I’ve had the biggest 3 weeks of my life!  I know people say their lives get thrown upside down but mine really has!

It all started the end of December.  We’d been trying to get a council house for years.  5 years of private rent was crippling us and having a landlord who was more interested in the money than the state of the house didn’t help!

After a lot of fighting, letters, arguments and general stress, last January the council finally accepted us onto the list.  12 months later, I saw the perfect place for us on the list.  I bid and was number 1 on the list!  I was over the moon, finally, things seemed to be falling into place for us.  So you can imagine how gutted I was when I didn’t get a call about my bid.  I couldn’t believe it.  I was number one!  It was a place that you had to be over 60 or on higher rate DLA (I’m the latter!!) I couldn’t understand why I didn’t get a call.  Ok, I’ll be honest, I was damned right P*SSED OFF that they hadn’t called me!  Add to that, the next two weeks there wasn’t one single place for me to bid on and my mood with the council was as low as it could get!!!

Then came a phone call, I was stunned because no one ever calls our home number.  I was convinced it was going to be a wrong number or something.  It was the housing officer asking if I was still interested in the place I’d bid on!  NO, I’d changed my mind!! DUH!

Little did I know that one phone call would cause such chaos.  Within a week we had the keys and were expected to move in and pay rent!  I had to pack up the house, downsize, arrange removal men, decorate, unpack, clean and decorate the old place in the space of a week.  I’ve done most of that.  I’ve half unpacked and half decorated the new place.  I’ve got to go and clean and decorate the old place this week.  I’m not looking forward to that!

 

Rob, or Bob! Not figured out which is which yet!

….BUT!  It has all been worth it.  I’m now living in an amazing little village that’s so quite and peaceful but I’m 30 mins drive from a big town.  I can sit in my chair and see 2 robins, 2 blue tits and a wren feeding and making nests.  As I type this the wren is rummaging around for food and nesting material.  She’s the shy one, she appears when it’s quiet and no other birds are about.  The Robins are here a lot.  They’re the bold ones who don’t care.  The Blue Tits have a nesting box beside my window so they pop in and out when they feel safe.

 

So good has come out of chaos!  I’m shattered and still got loads to do, but I’ll get there!  Living here is so calming that I don’t care!  It will get done when it’s done!

I’ve decided that my life has changed so this blog must too.  I’m going to rewrite the home page and a lot of posts will probably be about what I see from my window!  Hopefully, I won’t bore everyone with it!!!

 

Humanity at its best???

Today I’ve seen the lowest of the low.  I’ve seen grown men insulting a woman and child because they’ve ask for help.  Surely we’re better than that??

Where did this happen?  On Twitter, yep, more ‘keyboard warriors’ who think they’re smart.  It was all over a tweet by an account run by a mum about her 7 year old daughter, Bana Alabed, who is Allepo.  A place I’d never heard of until a few months ago and I now wish I’d never heard of.  Bana’s mum is an English teacher, she clearly posts that it’s her tweeting yet there are grown ‘men’ (I use that word loosely!) Accusing her of lying and other much worse things!!!  

Who cares????  Even if the account is fake there are people in that situation.  

A child said to my daughter yesterday;

‘We’re all worrying about what we’re going to wear to non uniform day tomorrow and kids in Aleppo don’t know if they’ll be alive tomorrow!’

Sadly, that’s true. Maybe adults should remember that before they start throwing insults around.

If you want to follow Bana and her family click below:

Bana Alabad tweets

2017…

I’d like to hope 2017 is going to be a better year, but sadly, I think the worst is yet to come.

The last 12 months I’ve lost family and friends, I’ve seen the UK torn apart by politics, the US is heading the same way.  I was lucky enough to find Roxy, but I lost Molly.  I know see that Molly came to me so I could find Roxy, but it’s still painful.  A few days after Molly died a friend lost her dog, a few weeks after that another friend lost her dog, then a few days ago yet another friend lost her dog!  Each one was a rescue thgthgat changed their owners lives as much as they changed their dogs lives.  However, it still hurts to loose them.

I’m being careful not to name names but my heart goes out to everyone who’s lost someone the last 12 months.  It’s been crap all round!  I had a feeling 2016 was going to be bad, I didn’t realise how bad it would get.  I think generally 2017 is going to be bad for everyone.  So please, look out for each other, because only that way can we hope to make it safely out the other end. 

Two years.

This time two years ago we had two dogs.  Missy, an 11 year old lurcher and Molly, 4 year old mixed terrier we’d rescued 5 weeks before. The dogs were getting on fine.  Missy was quiet, loving and laid back.   Molly was loud, loving and wired!!! but it worked.  They got on and life carried on. 

Until 22/12/15.  Missy develop stomach cancer and had to be put down.   If we hadn’t already got Molly we wouldn’t have got another dog.  Missy was such a big part of our lives, we could never replace her.  But we had Molly and she helped us to get through it. 

Summer 2015 my friend gets a Jack Russell pup and calls her Roxy! She becomes great friends with Molly and comes to stay with us when they go on holiday.   When we were asked if we would take in Roxy there was no thought!!  It was an instant YES!!

What I never imagined was  5 weeks after Roxy moved in,  Molly would die.  Anyone who knows me knows how much Molly changed my life and how hurt I was when she died.  I keep thinking I’m over it, then I have times like this evening where I fall apart!! 

In the last two years I’ve lost the two most amazing dogs.  Both brought different things to our home.  Both brought love and caring.  I wouldn’t be without any of them. 

So now it’s just me and Roxy. The most loving, gentle dog who hasn’t got a mean bone in her body!! She’s a mini version of Missy! 

On 22nd I’ll be lighting a candle for both Missy and Molly.  Then I’ll curl up with Roxy for a badly needed cuddle! 

RIP  Missy 30/6/04 – 22/12/15 💔
RIP Molly 1/12/09 – 27/6/16 💔

Update.

Just a quick update.  I’ve been ill so not been up to posting.  I’m over the worst of it but still got a way to go.  Roxy is helping me recover with lots of cuddles!!

Post cut!

Roxy went to Scrufts for a hair cut!  She looks so much more grown up now!!  She’s gone from my scruffy pup to a smart little dog!  I can 1000% recommend Zoe at Scrufts.  She washed, cut, clipped nails and most importantly cared for Roxy and got her back to me quickly.  It was the first time I’d had her fur cut and anyone who knows me knows I’m ALWAYS with Roxy!!  As I type this she’s asleep on me!  So having her away from the house is a very odd feeling.  So getting her back to me quickly was important.

 

Pre cut!!

When I picked her up she was happy to see me but wasn’t upset to be there.  It was very odd seeing her with short fur!!  Now I’ve got used to it and I like it!  So she’ll be going back every few months or however often she needs to stay smart!

 

As I said I’m recuperating so I’m going to put my feet up and relax with Roxy!

 

Bully Free World?

According to anyone you ask bullying isn’t tolerated and the world is a bully free zone as all bullying is stopped.  Well, I’m here to say that’s crap!!  Yeah it would be lovely to think it was true but instead, it means people *say* they will stop the bullies but all they do is turn a blind eye to it.

I can say this because I’ve had first-hand experience of it.  First at school, then in the workplace and most recently on social media, but this time, it was very underhand and sneaky.  Someone decided they didn’t like what I’d posted on my private facebook status so they reported me to Facebook and I was blocked from my own account for 48 hours until Facebook was sure I hadn’t broken any of their rules!

Now, out of all the bullying, this is the mildest but it still is.  It’s someone saying ‘You think differently to me and that’s wrong’.  Which is pretty much what society has become.  We all claim to be liberal and open to differences but 80% of the world is lying and the rest of us spend our lives worrying about being singled out as being wrong.

I’ve got gay friends who still get singled out for being gay and questioned as to why they are.  I have childless friends who get asked why they don’t want kids, is there something wrong with them?  I have unmarried friends who get asked why and haven’t they found ‘the one’ yet?!  NO! IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE HAPPY THAT WAY!

Why can’t people just be happy for others without questioning why they’re the way they are or like the things they do?  I’m not a Christian and I’ve had people react as if I’ve said I’m an axe murderer when I’ve said that!!  Deep down they’re rarely offended because they’re religious, it’s usually because I’m not fitting in with the ‘norm’.

I don’t know who reported me, or why and I don’t care!!  I’m happy being me and believing what I believe and having the opinions I have and quite frankly if you’re not happy about it….jog on matey!!

You may not count singling out someone as different as bullying but as someone who has been there, I can tell you it feels like it!!  So next time stop and think before you force your opinions on others or you hit that report button….

Poor Teddy!

This *was* Roxy’s teddy!  I got him 6 days ago.  In 6 days she’s chewed his ear off, ripped half his head off and the ropes were knotted and twisted inside him to make bones.  She’s pulled them out, untied them and untwisted them!!!

Oh and she carefully made a small hole in his back and pulled the squeaker out of him!! lol!

 

What he should look like!

I got this teddy because it said it was tough and the ultimate dog teddy.  Well, they didn’t test it on a mad terrier!  It’s lasted days.  Not the months I hoped it would.  I’ll go back to buying cheap teddies.  That way when she rips them apart it’s not cost me much!

 

At least she’s not pulled his eyes off.  That’s usually the first thing she does to her teddies! lol!

 

Books!

I’ve got back into reading.  I love reading but sometimes life gets too busy and I don’t make time to read, but my friend wants to see the new Tom Hanks/ Dan Brown movie Inferno so I’ve got to read the book first!   So far I’m loving it!  I read Da Vinci Code and loved it, but I only read about half of Angels and Demons because it was too hard to read so I was a little worried about reading Inferno but so far I love it.  It’s fast paced and thrilling and although he has a few pages of in-depth code etc it’s not too long winded.

 

Book + Mocha = Heaven!

Yesterday I had some free time in town so I treated myself to a mocha and had a lovely relaxing hour reading in peace in Costa.  I loved it, I got totally lost in my book and the world sailed by.  I’m going to have to make sure I do that again soon.  I felt so chilled afterward.  It was exactly what I needed!

 

I’ve been reading a lot recently.  I’ve just read a great book called ‘My Grandfather Would Have Shot Me’   I read this book in a week! It was amazing. Having read Schindlers List and seen the film I knew about Amon Goeth and like Jennifer I assumed the character was built up for the book and film. To discover he was played down was a horrific shock.

Jennifer is very open about her relationship with her adoptive parents and birth family as well as her feeling re her ancestors. The book follows her on her search for answers to the old question of nature or nurture as well as her quest to find out the truth about her Grandfather.

By the end, she seems to have come to terms with the shock and realised that it’s not who you’re born to, it’s what you do with that information.  I wholeheartedly recommend this book to everyone.  It’s the kind of book that school children should read as it goes into details of what the Jews went through and the guilt children and grandchildren of SS leaders feel even to this day.

Roxy has been in destructive mode this week!  She decided that Steve needed some new shoes (which everyone but Steve agreed with!!) Plus toys have been destuffed and tennis balls defluffed!  But that’s the fun of having a Terrier!!!! lol!

 

Death Penalty

Ok so this is way off topic for this blog!   If you’ve followed for a long time you’ll know I’ve been following a case where a man is on death row when though there’s doubt around his conviction.   Well today I want to talk in more general terms.  Now I get this is a ‘strong’ topic and everyone will have their own views so I ask you all stop and listen and most of all talk about it rather than just argue!!

A few years ago I’d of been all for the death penalty.  Now, I’ve thought about it and now I’m totally against it.  Basically I don’t think it does any good!!   Think about it, who gains from it?  The victim?  They’re usually dead in these cases. The victims family?  Often they feel guilty for taking the the life of the criminal. What about the criminals family?  If they stand by them they have the anger of having their loved one taken away.  As for the criminal,  they’re dead, so what difference does it make to them? 

So, what happens if the criminal is sentenced to life in prison?   They lose their ‘life’, their freedom is taken away and often their dignity too. They can be ‘punished’ through restorative justice.  This is where they do menial jobs to pay for their way.  For example in the US prisoners are made to make number plates and stitch mail bags. Just think of all the small annoying jobs no one wants to do?!  

Also,  we live in a world that is in general against euthanasia.  So, we leave someone who is in unliveable pain with no hope of getting better to suffer yet we have no problem taking a killers life??  How can that be right??  Just because a judge says it’s OK does that mean it’s not murder?  Eye for an eye, so a murder for a MURDER??  I don’t get it!  The criminal is wrong, but the judge and jury are right?  But the final result is the same. 

In cases where the death penalty is even an option there shouldn’t be any doubt at all about the criminals guilt.  But in the last 2 weeks alone there’s been two cases in the US of people who were on death row being released because it was proved they were innocent!!   Both men had been on death row for 15+ years before it was proved they hadn’t done it.  What would of happened if they’d been killed before they realised?  I know we can do cpr but a few years after could be pushing even the top doctors ability!!! If they’re wrong about those two cases, how many others could they be wrong about? 

I invite you to check out connect death row Go and see letters from inmates about their lives on death row.  There are so many misconceptions about life on death row.  For example, you don’t stay there long; many are there for a very very long time, that they live the life of luxury; they live in a 6×8 cell for over 23 hours a day only getting out for short showers or 3 hours a week exercise,  they don’t have contact with others, they never touch another person!!  Imagine going for 20 years without touching another person.  Not even a brush of a hand.  All the time knowing you could get 3 months notice of your death at any point. 

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe they’re innocent or they should lead comfy lives (I’d have them slopping out every morning!)  what I do believe is its wrong to take another’s life and there’s always a better way. 

Rant warning!!!

I’m a grown woman. Well, I’m an adult! I’m in my 40’s, I’ve lived my life and I’ve learned a lot.  I don’t claim to know everything and there’s things I believed in the past that I now feel were wrong.  But to me that’s life!  We live, learn and love and that never ends. 

On that note, I get a *little* annoyed (ok right royally peed off!!) when people try to tell me in wrong and the try to censor me!  If you don’t like me the answer is simple, move on.  Don’t try and change me.  I’ve worked hard to have the confidence to be me and I’m not going back in that box again! 

I know that’s going to annoy some people but tough!  I think we all reach an age when we say sod it and we can be open about who we are.  It took me until I was 40 to reach that stage.  
Also!  We’re on Snapchat!!!  Search for tezmum you’ll know it’s us cos Roxy is the profile pic!